Tuesday, July 30, 2013

A quick little update!

I was told by more than one person that I never update my blog anymore...I guess that's true :)  Truth is that I just don't find the time to do it anymore even though I have about a million blog posts in my head that I would love to get on here!  I will try to be better...but the fact that I still have Natalee and Charlie's thank you notes from their birthdays (yes...their birthdays are in January and April) still sitting on my desk waiting to be written out...I wouldn't hold out too much hope for regular blog posts :)  But...again...I will try!  'Cause I really do like to blog...so I guess I'm saying...don't give up on me :)  Anyway...a quick update.  Everyone is doing good.  Summer is flying by way to fast and my kids are growing up way too fast already!  Charlie is 15 months now, Bennett is 22 months, and Miss Natalee is 3 1/2.  Charlie finally learned to walk and now he is running everywhere.  It's hard to keep up with the kid!  Bennett is really starting to talk and repeat what you say.  Lately Natee will be sitting with him telling him to say this or say that and it's really cute because after he says it she always says "nice job Bennett!"  Natalee is just as active and social as always.  She is always asking "why" and as most of you know, that gets very tiresome.  But I keep telling myself that that is how they learn...so I just try to smile and not give her too many "because that's the way it is!"  Life is good here.  We are building a house for those of you that didn't know that already.  We are very excited.  We are also putting a salon in it so I can do hair out of the house.  I am very excited for that and I am  not being very patient waiting for that.  Hopefully my clients are being more patient than I am waiting for me to come back and do their hair :)  We are building out on the farm, right next to Jon's mom and dad so it will be nice for the kids to grow up on the farm and for Jon to be close too since that is where he spends a majority of his time.  Everyone has always said how much time and work it is to build a house and if you can survive that as a couple you can survive anything.  I'm going to tell you...it is a lot of work!  So many decisions...who knew you had to decide on so many things!  But it's all coming together nicely and we hope to be in our new house by the end of October or by Thanksgiving for sure.  Although I have always said that if we are in by Christmas then I will be happy. :)  So since we are building we are also in the middle of selling our home...what a pain in the rear!  I am just praying that it sells soon so I can quit being so stressed about keeping my house "show ready".  Do you know how hard it is to keep your house perfect when you have three little tornado's running around?!  Let me tell you...it's hard!!  But thankfully I have a sister-in-law and her kids that have been helping me out...about an hour before the showing I ship them all out so that I can do all the last minute wipe downs, sweep ups, and touch ups and that has worked out perfectly.  I do have to say that having a spotless house is nice...and that's why I can blog today while they nap...because we had a showing today so I don't have any cleaning to do while they are sleeping!  In fact...I might just go lay my head down so I'm going to close for now!  I hope you all have a great day and I'll check in again!  Here's some recent pictures of the kids...enjoy!

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Snow much fun!

Daddy has created a little ski bunny and he couldn't be any happier about it!! :)  He has taken Natalee skiing a few times now this winter and she loves it!!  A lot of times Ryan and Kenzie (who are our family friends and Kenzie is our babysitter...although I hate  to tell you all that because I don't want her to be taken by any of you 'cause we love her!!) have been going with too and Jon loves their help...especially when Natalee kicks her boots and ski's off while riding up the ski lift!  Jon is still not sure how that happened :) 

Since Natee was away one Saturday I called to see if the boys wanted to come and take Bennett outside for awhile...he had such a fun time and did not want to come in at all!!

And this little guy...he got stuck with mom and had to stay inside...although I don't think he minded one bit having me all to himself :)

Wednesday, February 27, 2013



...sometimes you just need to have an orange push-up in the middle of winter with your cousins :)

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Back at it...

Holidays are done, taxes are done, Natalee's birthday is done and so now I am hoping that I will be able to get back on top of this whole blogging thing!! One thing I realized...even though I was itching to get back at it the whole time that we had to wait for Charlie's adoption to be final I might have really only had one or two blog posts in that time! hahaha! Life with three little ones is definitely busy but I see others blogging so I better just give it a shot...but have some grace for me please :)  Like I said...the holidays are over...we had a really good Christmas...Natee really got into it this year and the boys had fun as well.  We decided to do Santa (I know that there are a lot of feelings out there about this but for now we decided to do it...so please don't stop reading my blog because of that!!) and it was really fun.  Natee kept talking about Santa coming to her house and that he was going to come down into her wood stove and daddy told her that he wouldn't light the fire that night so that Santa could come down it...and she put out her cookies and milk...and then Christmas morning came...and usually when she wakes up she comes right into our room if Jon is still in bed (if not she is usually downstairs with him having Daddy/daughter time :) ) but not this morning...Jon nudged me awake and told me we have a little girl awake and so we laid their waiting for her to come in...pretty soon we heard her little feet very quietly going down the stairs...and then all of a sudden her little feet were coming right back up but this time faster than I've ever heard her climb up our stairs.  She was quickly in our room and snuggled in between us.  We said "Good morning Natalee...are you ready to go downstairs?"  "Not yet" was her reply.  So we laid there with her talking about Christmas and what all we were going to do and finally we figured out that she thought that Santa was still in our house!! And that scared her a little bit! hahaha!  I never thought of that!  Too cute and too funny.  Once we explained that he wasn't there she was all excited to go down and see what he had left her.  Jon asked her the night before what she wanted from him (which he got the look for since who knows what she was going to ask for and I certainly wasn't going to be driving to any store to get it) but thankfully she is a easy to please little girl and all she wanted was an ice cream cone :)  And so there was one waiting for her in the freezer :)  All in all is was a great Christmas...it was fun teaching her about Jesus' birthday and why we celebrate.  And every time we went to the library she wanted to go visit the nativity set and say hi to baby Jesus...having a little one makes you stop and really appreciate the birth of our Savior.  We hope you all had a wonderful Christmas season too!  And now...let's move on since Christmas was so long ago and we are already almost done with February!!
At the end of January we got to celebrate Natalee's birthday...that was a whole lot of fun and I'll have a special post on just that.
I got our taxes done...yea!! 
We celebrated our twin boys that we lost (Owen and Cooper) on February 8th...I wrote them their yearly letter over on www.feldmanbaby.blogspot.com ...it's hard to believe that it's been four years since we've said hello and goodbye to them.  I got the video of them out the other day and realized that I don't think I had ever watched it.  I almost forgot how small they really were.  Or how awful I looked that day...but then I had to remind myself that I had been up for over 24 hours and I was fighting to keep them safe inside of me...so I had to give myself a little grace there and chalk it up to what it was...beautiful moments that I am so grateful to have on film.
And then we've just been living life!  Life with these three is really busy...I think I've said that before.  But I seem to manage and they are all alive so I must be doing something right.  We have playdates, trips to the library, Bible Study, and days at home to just relax and cuddle and play with toys.  Just the other day I had the feeling that I was coming out of the survival mode...I've heard that people with twins almost don't remember the first year at all and I can totally  understand that now...even though the boys aren't twins being only 6 months apart I think I can say that it is kinda like having twins...but not really at the same time...maybe that doesn't make sense...anyway...sometime I felt like I was just in survival mode and I would be hard on myself for not taking more pictures or not doing this or not doing that.  But then I just had to tell myself that it was okay...they still have some pictures...they will still love you and you are doing the best job you know how to do.  And that pep talk to myself made me feel better :)  But now that Charlie is 10 months, him and Bennett are playing better together by themselves and so I get that little bit of time to do something else like wash the dishes or do the laundry...and that feels so good.  I do have to say...I love winter but I am so ready for this one to be done so we can get outside again...we are all feeling a little cooped up I think :)  But hey...we are almost done with February!!  Spring is a comin'!! 
Well...I'm starting to ramble so I'll leave you with some random pictures!!  Have a great rest of your week!!
Shaving with Dad :)

Mr. Heartbreaker

Already such a little momma...makes this momma's heart glad!

Normal day...everyone together on the floor :)

I just thought these two pictures of Natee and Charlie were just way too cute not to share!!

Daddy made them a cool little fort/tunnels one day...he's much more fun to have home than mom!!

Every Monday we get to have Carter, my nephew, come over to play for awhile while his mom volunteers and Natee loves it...even thought they fight like brother and sister most of the time!! :) hahaha!!

My two trouble makers!!
Bennett thought these gloves were so cool...cousin Levi brought them over to play with...Bennett would walk around saying "Pow!"

Bennett loves having his hat and coat on!!

Cheese!!  Charlie now had two top and two bottom teeth...and they are so stinkin' cute!!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

One year ago...

One year ago I woke up not really sure how the day was going to go...I knew it was going to be a hard day...another hard day...  I can't remember the exact time but I am pretty sure we had to be down to Mayo around 7:30.  I remember getting there and dreading going in and yet wanting to go in and just get it done with.  I remember feeling scared, anxious, maybe even a little lightheaded.  I was going in to do something that I knew I needed to do...yet I didn't want to...at...all.  I remember telling the lady at the desk who I was and then I remember the nicest nurse coming right away to get me...she kind of flashed my armband that she was carrying in her hand to the other nurse as she told her that she was taking me to my room...pretty sure that was code for something...like...hey I got the lady here who is about to deliver her already deceased baby.  She walked me into the room and I couldn't help it...the tears just came.  She told me that I was brave and that she had looked at my chart and couldn't believe what I had already been through.  She got me my gown and I got into the bed.  She told me that it was hard to know how these drugs were going to react in my body.  Sometimes they work right away and sometimes it could take many doses...I could be in labor shortly or I could still be there tomorrow morning and still nothing.  I prayed that it would work quick...lets get this done with.  You know part of me, when given the option of just having a surgery to deliver, wanted to do the surgery...put me out and just let it be done...lets not have the hours of emotions leading up to it...but in my heart of hearts I knew that I could not do that...ever.  I wanted to see my baby...I wanted to hold my baby...and I wanted to be fully aware of what my body was doing as I delivered his sweet, precious body into this world.  Even though he had already passed...there is something about being able to hold your baby.  Anyway...my prayers for a peace-filled day were answered.  After a couple hours I knew my body was getting ready but I was so anxious.  I kept talking to the nurse and Jon and tried to watch a movie to try and take my mind off of things...but it just wasn't working.  I knew that if I could just get my body to relax things would move quickly...so I asked for a little IV medication.  Boy did the room start spinning then...but it was just what I needed.  Shortly after I told my nurse that it was time and soon after our little Oliver Davies entered our lives.  Not knowing what he was going to look like was a little bit of a hindrance for me...but yet I still could not wait to see him and hold him and study him.  He was perfect.  Perfectly formed.  Perfectly made.  Perfect in the eyes of God and his mom and dad.  As I stated in a previous post, we found out that Oliver had Down Syndrome and that it was what took his life.  Why he couldn't stay with us...we'll only find that out when we get to Heaven.  Until then, I am resting in the knowledge that God knew what was best for his little life and He decided to bring him Home to live with Him.  I will get to see and hold him again...that I know.  Oh as I think back to that day one year ago I can't help but get teary eyed.  What I knew was going to be a hard day turned out to be not so hard...thanks to many of you praying for me.  It turned out to be a day of yes sorrow...but also a day of great joy as we got to see our little baby.  A day of loss but also a day that we were able to be a witness to others about our faith and our great God.  Our nurse was so great and the doctor we had was wonderful as well.  When he came back in to tell me that if I wanted to go home I could (which I was so grateful that he was willing to let me go) he got all teary eyed as he told us that he couldn't believe all that we had gone through...so many losses...and we told him that God is good...all the time.  We actually ran into that doctor one other time while we were in Rochester...it was good to see him and for him to see us doing well...we hope and pray we made a positive impact on him.  I can't believe it has been one year ago where I walked into a hospital at 7:30 not quite ready to meet my baby and walked out 12 hours with complete peace that God was with me that day.  I still have days where I miss my baby and wonder what life would have been like...I still miss all my babies and wonder what all their lives would have been like.  And isn't it just like God to turn sorrow into pure joy.  Not even two weeks after losing Oliver did we get an e-mail from Heather in GA wondering if we would possibly adopt her baby.  Thank you Lord for your continued blessings and not leaving us in the pits of sorrow.  Wow...what a year it has been.  Happy Heavenly Birthday my sweet Oliver Davies.  Can't wait to snuggle you in Heaven someday :)

Monday, December 17, 2012

I'm back...and Oh...there's been a change of name!!

Hey Everyone!!!  I'm back!!  Let's see if I can even remember how to do this blogging thing!! hahaha!  Well...some of you might have been thinking that I just gave up on blogging...some of you might have been thinking that I just didn't have time to blog now that I have 3 little ones (that is partly true)...but the real reason that I haven't been blogging is that I was advised not to!  You see...after we got baby #3 and I had the whole announcement about him on here, his birthdad decided that he did want him.  So...not sure what that all meant we were very scared.  And our attorney advised us that until the adoption is finalized it would be best not to Facebook or blog :(  I agreed to it, thinking that it wouldn't be that long and that it would be the best thing...well never did I think it would take this long to be back at it.  But the good thing is...I am a proud momma of 3!  The adoption was finalized on Monday, December 10th!!  We had a lot of rocky moments during these last 8 months.  At first the birthdad was really taking this seriously and of course so were we. In the state of Georgia the birthdad's don't automatically get their babies if they aren't in a serious relationship with the mom...it's the mom's decision.  But the dad's can go to court to fight that decision...which is what he told us that he was going to do.  After a few months of ups and downs we found out that his attorney was no longer representing him and then he couldn't be reached by our attorneys either...so it seemed like he had moved on.  However, since he signed a piece of paper stating that he was fighting for parental rights we needed him to sign adoption papers if he was going to let the adoption go through...well...he didn't respond to any of that either...so our last resort was to take him to court (well our attorney did) and if he showed up there then they would ask for his signature...and if he didn't show up then they would ask the judge to terminate his rights...he didn't show up.  Normally we would have celebrated at that moment but there is no celebrating in adoption until you go to court in your home state and you go before a judge and he says "Yes.  I believe it to be in the best interest of this child for Jon and Ali Feldman to adopt him.  I will sign the papers."  And our judge said just that (or some form of that! haha!).  Ahhh....a sigh of relief that day!!  Yea!  And speaking of that little baby boy...he is 8 months old now...and he does have a new name...here...I'll let his sister tell you what it is:

That's right...Charlie Miles Preston Feldman!  It so fits him!!!  So why a new name?!  Well...I have never had this before...but it just didn't fit!  It wasn't his name!  When we went down to Georgia we had a different name in mind...but in the end we named him Miles...and I really really really like that name...I did then and I still do now!  But when we got home and after a couple months something just wasn't sitting right.  One night I told Jon that I just didn't think Miles' name was suppose to be that...so he asked me what it was suppose to be...and I thought for a bit and Charlie just came to me...it was a name that I think we threw out one time but never seriously.  Jon thought about it and we talked about what it would mean to change it and then we just decided that maybe we would just call him Charlie as a nickname.  Well we soon decided that if we were going to do that his name should just be Charlie but we didn't want to get rid of Miles because like I said...I still liked that name and as many people pointed out to us it was kind of a cool name for him since we had to go miles and miles to get him :)  So he became Charlie...and what a Charlie he is :)  As you'll see in my upcoming posts, he's got a smile that is just killer :)  One more reason that I liked Charlie is that I felt it just fit with Natalee and Bennett better...and this is really geeky of me but I loved that they all had 7 letters...and this is really bad but I couldn't figure out how to say his plural name...it always came out sounding like Miles-is-is...no...that's Miles-is-is toy...and that was really driving me nuts 'cause I just couldn't get it....Charlie's is much easier for me...call me crazy :)  Anyway...now that I can blog again look for many posts about what we've been up to :)  And lots of pictures!  And a new look to my blog as well...I really wanted to have a new look before I started blogging again...but I just haven't had the time to sit down and do it...call me crazy...but I'm a little busy chasing a 2 year old, 15 month old, and 8 month old (who is an excellent crawler) around :)  Here's one little picture to hold you off for now :)