Ray of Sunshine...

Isn't she just a beautiful ray of sunshine. She is my ray of sunshine. Period. End of story. Lately I have been remembering Emmalee a lot...I mean I still don't think there is a day that goes by where I don't think about her and the boys...but lately I just feel like I have been reminded that she would have been a three year old. The other day my friend's little girls turned 3...it was the day that Emmalee was born that we found out that my friend was going to have twin girls too...we were so excited that we were going to have girls together and they were going to be the best of friends...she even bought me a matching outfit to go along with the outfits she had already gotten for her girls. And the other day...they turned 3! And as I said to her that I couldn't believe that the girls were turning three I just had this thought well of course I can believe it...Emmalee would have been three...it's been three long years that she has been gone...but when I see these girls...I still can't believe that it's been three years! And then around Mother's Day we were at a park and I saw this lady holding a blanket...we have the same one...and then I remembered that we had actually gotten it as a gift for Emmalee...and so I looked around and sure enough...there was little girl who looked to be about 3 and I just sat there and couldn't believe that that is what my little girl could have looked like. To me...she will always be a baby...she will never grow up...but really...she could have been this totally independent little thing who thought she didn't need me anymore...I wish she was. Another time was here in our small town...we had a little ice cream gathering and this little girl was walking around...I didn't remember at first who she was but then it dawned on me...she was the little girl that was born shortly after Emma and she had a little bit of a heart scare too...I think she ended up with surgery as well but it was a minor one compared to Emma's and she came through just fine....thank you Lord! And one more...I've been reading a blog lately and the little one is in the NICU and it just takes me back to the days that we were there with Emma...all the tubes and wires and lights and machines...I sometimes wish for those days...for me...but not for Emmalee...I'm so glad that she doesn't have to deal with that and that she is totally healed. I'm not sure why I shared all this with you today...probably just to be real with you...to let you know that I am still human and that I do still miss my baby girl...but also to let you know that I am okay...and I got my little ray of sunshine to help me through my dark and cloudy days...I mean really...

how could this face not cheer you up?!? I thank God for her everyday and can't imagine my life without her.

And here's a couple more ultrasound pictures of our next little ray of sunshine that we can't wait to meet...only a few more weeks to go (9 until the due date!)

So what do you think? Boy or girl? I'll have to put one of those polls up soon to see what everyone thinks...that was kind of fun the last time with Natalee...of course that time Jon and I did find out that she was a girl so it was fun to see that most of you were right...this time though...total surprise to all of us...which I think is soooo fun! Rebekah had a doctors appointment the other day and she said that all was going well...the heartbeat was 140 so that's good...now we just wait :) Natee is going to be so in love...this last weekend I wish I would have gotten a picture of her...we had two new families come to our church and both of them had babies...she walked right over to their carriers and squatted down and even put her hands on her knees and started to talk to them...it was so stinkin' cute! She's going to be a great big sister and these two will be so close in age that I think they will be great friends!

Well thanks for letting me express my feelings to you today and show you my little rays of sunshine...here's praying you all have a little sunshine in your life today too!

Time for a little recap!

Hi there! Yep...it's me...and yep...I've been MIA...again! I will try try try to get better at blogging again...but for now...here's some pictures to help kind of recap our summer so far...and by the way...can you believe that the 4th of July is already here and gone?! Crazy! All is good here on the Feldman front...Natalee is doing great...she's a 17 month old that is busy all the time :) All seems to be going well for our birthmom too...she told me that babybug is moving all the time and that the next time we get together I'll be able to feel him or her! I'm so excited! Now we just need to figure out a time to get together! :) Well I'll let you go so you can get through my massively large picture post :) Enjoy!

We were able to see Great Grandma and Grandpa when we went to my cousin Cory's track and field meet...he does pole vaulting...I still don't see how they do that! It was the state meet and Cory did great!

Up he goes!

And down he comes :)

The meet was at Hamline and they have one of those Snoopy statues there...so of course a picture needed to be taken!

We've also been out to visit Emmalee and the boys

And help water all the flowers

Such a good helper!

Then Jon and I took a little getaway over to Milwaukee a few weeks back...Natee stayed at home with Grandma and Grandpa and I think she could have cared less that we were gone...she was so doted on :) While we were there the weather was so crappy...cold and rainy...so it made it hard to do anything...but we were able to take in a Twins game at Miller Park which was really fun...we were also able to make about 4 trips to Kopps to get frozen custard...if you are ever in Milwaukee you'll have to find Kopps! You will not be disappointed...just think Culvers times 10!

Me and Mickey

Awe...we look like we had a fun time...oh wait...we did :)

Then this past weekend we were able to go to the Twins game at Target Field and actually sit in a suite! Now it's going to be hard to sit back in a regular seat :)

We even got to meet Drew Butera...isn't he cute :) Look how much closer I am standing to him than Jon! hahaha!

We even had a rain delay...and look at this black cloud that rolled in...I have never seen one this dark! It was funny to watch all the people scramble to get under the shelters before the rain just poured!

And then the exciting news of the night was that Kim Kardashian was at the game...her fiance was throwing out the first pitch (that is him up above)...I had walked by this suite (suite 14 if you must know) on my way to the bathroom and there was a bodyguard with an earpiece in...and I thought to myself...wow...someone important must be in there...well it didn't take long for word to spread as to who it was...you wouldn't believe the entourage that she had with her...all for a reality star....but I have to admit...it was pretty cool to say that I saw her (they left in the 5th and walked right by our suite...so of course I gawked and watched as she went by!) haha!

And this was another cool picture...there was a night rainbow! I had never seen one of those...didn't know there could be a night rainbow...but it was dark and I just happened to look off to my right and there it was...of course I had to point it out to everyone to make sure that I wasn't seeing things!

And of course summer wouldn't be summer without pool time and watermelon!

Yummy!

Mommy...you want some?!?!

And Sam and Britt were nice enough to invite us over to use their pool at their condo...it was so much fun and Natee had a blast being in the pool with Ole

A family that swims together....has a lot of fun :)

Uncle Sam, Aunt B and Ole

Natee wanted to try Ole's hat!

Getting a little ride :)

Waiting for the parade to start...the kids are ready to get...CANDY!

At the Cannon Fall Parade...just waiting for it to start!

Picnic lunch group :)

More picnic lunch group :)

And what's 4th of July without...WATERMELON!

Natee and her cousins in Lake Byllesby...the kids could hardly wait to finish with our picnic so they could go and jump in the lake...it was a nice hot day so I'm sure it felt great!

Natee and Daddy enjoying a dip in the lake

Natee and her friend Evan...I think they both enjoyed their 4th of July!