Ray of Sunshine...

Isn't she just a beautiful ray of sunshine. She is my ray of sunshine. Period. End of story. Lately I have been remembering Emmalee a lot...I mean I still don't think there is a day that goes by where I don't think about her and the boys...but lately I just feel like I have been reminded that she would have been a three year old. The other day my friend's little girls turned 3...it was the day that Emmalee was born that we found out that my friend was going to have twin girls too...we were so excited that we were going to have girls together and they were going to be the best of friends...she even bought me a matching outfit to go along with the outfits she had already gotten for her girls. And the other day...they turned 3! And as I said to her that I couldn't believe that the girls were turning three I just had this thought well of course I can believe it...Emmalee would have been three...it's been three long years that she has been gone...but when I see these girls...I still can't believe that it's been three years! And then around Mother's Day we were at a park and I saw this lady holding a blanket...we have the same one...and then I remembered that we had actually gotten it as a gift for Emmalee...and so I looked around and sure enough...there was little girl who looked to be about 3 and I just sat there and couldn't believe that that is what my little girl could have looked like. To me...she will always be a baby...she will never grow up...but really...she could have been this totally independent little thing who thought she didn't need me anymore...I wish she was. Another time was here in our small town...we had a little ice cream gathering and this little girl was walking around...I didn't remember at first who she was but then it dawned on me...she was the little girl that was born shortly after Emma and she had a little bit of a heart scare too...I think she ended up with surgery as well but it was a minor one compared to Emma's and she came through just fine....thank you Lord! And one more...I've been reading a blog lately and the little one is in the NICU and it just takes me back to the days that we were there with Emma...all the tubes and wires and lights and machines...I sometimes wish for those days...for me...but not for Emmalee...I'm so glad that she doesn't have to deal with that and that she is totally healed. I'm not sure why I shared all this with you today...probably just to be real with you...to let you know that I am still human and that I do still miss my baby girl...but also to let you know that I am okay...and I got my little ray of sunshine to help me through my dark and cloudy days...I mean really...

how could this face not cheer you up?!? I thank God for her everyday and can't imagine my life without her.

And here's a couple more ultrasound pictures of our next little ray of sunshine that we can't wait to meet...only a few more weeks to go (9 until the due date!)

So what do you think? Boy or girl? I'll have to put one of those polls up soon to see what everyone thinks...that was kind of fun the last time with Natalee...of course that time Jon and I did find out that she was a girl so it was fun to see that most of you were right...this time though...total surprise to all of us...which I think is soooo fun! Rebekah had a doctors appointment the other day and she said that all was going well...the heartbeat was 140 so that's good...now we just wait :) Natee is going to be so in love...this last weekend I wish I would have gotten a picture of her...we had two new families come to our church and both of them had babies...she walked right over to their carriers and squatted down and even put her hands on her knees and started to talk to them...it was so stinkin' cute! She's going to be a great big sister and these two will be so close in age that I think they will be great friends!

Well thanks for letting me express my feelings to you today and show you my little rays of sunshine...here's praying you all have a little sunshine in your life today too!