Two Months...yesterday

Okay...I lied...I didn't get to the computer yesterday to write anything like I said I would. Can I still blame it on the sedation?! Anyway...yesterday we passed the two month marker for the boys. When I stop and think how fast it actually has gone I can't help but wonder if it would have gone that fast had I still been pregnant with them. I would have been huge and probably really uncomfortable...but I would have been glowing:) And with that glowing I would have had zits all over my face...but I would be happy because I would have still been pregnant. Now I have to just deal with the after acne while my hormones regulate...ahhh...just one of the many things you have to deal with after pregnancy. I have a feeling though that they would be a little easier to deal with if you had your baby to rock. Speaking of babies, can you believe that Emmalee would have been 1 tomorrow! I certainly cannot. We have plans for a special day, but I won't go into all that here...I'll post sometime on her blog...maybe tomorrow...maybe not. We would have been 30 weeks along with the boys...I remember counting out the weeks and seeing that 30 fell on her birthday. I kept thinking...if I can only get to her birthday then the babies will be fine...they will be little and they will have to be in the NICU...but they would be okay. Well, we all know that wasn't meant to be...and that's okay. God has other plans for us. You just wait and see:) In other news I have been really busy, which is why I think I have been a little more stressed and emotional lately. There is probably a reason why they say not to make huge decisions while you're in the grieving process (it just makes it that much harder) but I did make one anyway. Before the boys were born I had an opportunity to switch to a different salon. I would still be renting but at that time I just didn't feel like I was ready for a move. I didn't know what the future held for me. Would I have good babies that I could leave with someone a few days a week so that I could go and do hair? Could they come with me and sleep while I did hair? Would I even want to leave them so I could go and do hair? So at that time I decided that I was not going to move. But then after the boys died I just felt like something had to change. I needed something new in my life. So after a lot of consideration and praying and talking to my family and close friends I have decided to move to a new salon. Now if you are a client of mine you will be getting a card in the mail...I am putting them in the post office box today! I have been working on these cards for what seems like forever...now I just have to get return labels on them and get stamps on them and I am done. One more thing to cross off my list! And the thank you cards from the boys are done...I now just have to write them and address them...so thanks for being patient with me! So anyway...back to the salon...it's called Marguerite's. Right now it's only me and the owner there. They took their old house and turned it into a salon. It's pretty neat. I think you'll all be happy there. The really nice thing is that Diane and Chris (the owners at the salon where I work at now) were really understanding and supported my decision even though they didn't want me to leave....they understood my need to change. They have been a great support team for me this past year and I thank them for all that they have done for me. Well I guess that was my big news...it's something that will keep me occupied for a while...just getting settled in at a new spot. Anything to keep you a little distracted I have found to be a good thing. The month of April is going to be a hard one but it's also going to be busy so it will be fine. Thank you all for keeping us in your prayers...especially tomorrow. I think the anticipation of the day could be harder than the day itself. Oh how we miss our kids...