Yet again....

Hi all! I have so much that I want to blog about and so much that I need to blog about...but tonight is not the night...I just wanted to tell you all that we are heartbroken once again. The birthmom has decided to keep her baby so we will not be adopting here in a few weeks...we have known that it has been a possibility for a little while now but it was confirmed to me on Monday when I texted with her. I've been wanting to post it on here but I just didn't have the words to say and I feel like I still don't. Heartbroken, sad, upset, a little mad, hurt, etc...those are all words I would use to describe how I am feeling right now. I know, I really do know, that God has a plan for all of this and for us...I just don't understand it right now...and I don't think that He expects me too. We will just keep trusting Him and leaning on Him to guide us to where we are suppose to be. And my sincere prayer is that He wants us to have another child here on earth to raise. But that thought is for another post because I have had so much swirling in my mind lately (like thoughts that Natee might be my only child and I need to start being content with that...which I totally am so grateful that she is my daughter and that she is in my life...I just didn't ever expect to have an only child...I want her to grow up with a sibling...like I said...my mind has been wandering so much lately...it needs to stop! :) ) Anyway...I just wanted to update you all on what is going on with our adoption situation...I know that all of you were so excited for us and that you were all praying for us...and we so appreciate it. We did tell our birthmom (well I guess she's not a birthmom anymore but I'm just going to refer to her as that 'cause it's easier that way) that if something changes in her mind or in her life to not hesitate to call us again if she wants to...we sure hope that she feels comfortable doing so if she wants to...she did tell us that she would keep us updated on all that is going on with her and the baby and we are so grateful for that too. We just completely feel in love with this baby when she told us way back in April that she wanted us to raise him or her...and we really did not see this coming. I could go on and on but I won't right now...thanks for your continued prayers...we could sure use them. :)