"I have a God who's holding me"

I just got in from running some errands this morning and I just felt the need to come right to the computer and just jot a quick note for all of you. This last week has been so hard. I cried most of the way home today from town. I'm sure a lot has to do with the weather. I don't know about where you live but here in MN it has been gloomy and gray and rainy for the past three days. And I think that can do a lot to a persons mood. Plus this last week I have just felt like I have had spiritual attacks coming at me (I don't mean to weird any of you out that don't believe the way I do or believe that there can be spiritual attacks...I'm just writing what I believe and trusting that I can write this without you thinking I've gone off the edge:) ) I just feel like I am being tested even more and it's hard and I would really covet your prayers. I feel selfish even asking for them because I know everyone has their own problems but if you have a couple seconds could you throw in a few for me...thanks:) So on my way home I had the radio on and a song came on that I have heard before but I don't know who sings it...and the only real line I heard was..."I have a God who's holding me"...it was the last line of the song and I was obviously meant to hear it. And it did stop my tears. He knows everything...everything I have endured, everything I am enduring, and everything I will endure. And He's holding me...the whole time. Thank you Lord Jesus. So I kept on my way home...I drove by the cemetery and gave my kids 3 honks...and now I'm home to finish my cleaning. I still have a very heavy heart and I know these next few weeks are going to be real tough...next few months for that matter. I just thank you in advance for any extra prayer time you might have for me. Love~Ali



Oh yeah...got the test results today. Nothing really looks out of the ordinary...so that's kind of frustrating. She said the only thing that looked a little out of the ordinary was that the placenta did have a little Group B Strep growing on it, but that is naturally found "down there" and could have cause this to happen but most likely not. The Group B could have also only found it's way to the placenta after I had dilated and gone into labor and might not be the cause of anything. The placenta also was a little inflamed, which is a sign of infection but who knows. The only thing she thought was it could have been an ascending infection that would have caused me to go into preterm labor but it might not have been. So that is a little frustrating...sometimes you would just like to have a cause so that you can try to prevent it next time! But it also is another reminder to me that this was all in God's plan (who knows why)....maybe it's good not to have a reason...then I can't blame myself for not catching it. Yeah...that might be good.